WTF Wednesday: Nightmare on my Street

The problem started about three years ago. We were expecting our first baby and, like most new parents, we had bought copious amounts of baby swag in preparation for the arrival of our new little life form. There was a good deal of gear: Car seats, strollers, a crib, a swing, a bathtub, carriers, etc. The list went on and on and everything came in big, huge, cardboard boxes and the warranties for all this baby gear demanded that all original packaging must be kept.

So, being the neurotic and diligent new parents we were, (I us the past tense because #2 is totally living through the 2nd baby shaft where we are kinda like: whatever about everything) we kept all those cardboard boxes and packaging in our crawl space.

A few months later, from time to time, I started noticing these little silver things crawling in the corners or in the closets of our home. It grossed me out as I had never really seen these things before. I knew what they were because my mother used to tell me about this cheap motel she stayed in once that had these little silver bugs; she said it was because that motel was dirty. I was reeling because I knew my house wasn't dirty and I was wondering why the hell these things were in my house!!

After some internet investigating and some info from my SIL, I learned that Silverfish are attracted to cellulose based products and will come into your home if you have good food sources for them like... dun dun dun CARDBOARD!

I freaked out when I heard this and immediately started thinking about my stash of cardboard in the crawl space. I sent my husband down there to investigate and what do you know... they were freakin everywhere!!!

FRACK!

I don't like bugs and I declared warfare on those little nasties because hell if I was going to have bugs in my house! I called an exterminator (actually I called several) and they all told me that Silverfish are a pretty typical thing in Victoria BC homes especially in basements and crawlspaces. They said unless I was seeing dozens and dozens a day in the actual living spaces of my home, then there was no need to spray for them as they are totally harmless.

So, we did not spray (which is good because I don't like using chemicals anyway) but I did make my husband clear out the entire crawlspace. There is no longer one single shred of cardboard down there and every single last thing is now stored in plastic bins. And, I did clean out every nook and cranny in my home and use this dichotomous earth stuff in every closet and corner to keep them away.

It seemed to be working, we haven't really seen them much for a while. However, the other night, I was up late and was heading to bed and decided to check that everything was locked beforehand. I cruised through the kitchen and turned on the light for some reason and what did I see on the floor... about four little Silverfish on the floor (those things are nocturnal and like to come out at night). I freaked out and grabbed a tissue and killed them right away!

And then, because I am neurotic and high strung, I started searching for those little buggers; I was pulling everything out of all the closets and looking under the stove and fridge and trying to figure out where they had come from. I didn't find anymore but, I still went to bed very unsettled.

In the middle of the night I woke up from the worst nightmare. It was seriously bad; I was breathing heavily, my heart was practically beating out of my chest, I was all clammy. I was down right terrified.  I haven't had a nightmare that scary since... I don't even know when, probably not since I was a kid. And, do you know what that nightmare was about?!?!?

Freaking Silverfish! I dreamed I was locked in a bathroom and they were all over the place and I could not escape!

WTF...  I am seriously having nightmares about freakin tiny bugs!!!

I am!

I have to admit, it's not the first time that bugs have terrified me to the point of losing sleep. When I was a child, a school friend told me that if an Earwig climbed into your ear and bit you, you would go deaf. I had seen an Earwig in my house before and was so afraid of one crawling in my ear that for the next six months, I would fall asleep with my hands clasped tightly over my ears in sheer terror (Heather if you are reading this... it's all your freaking fault).

I also have a intense fear of Crane Flies after a fateful altrication with one that I assumed was dead (rightfully so as I caught that biotch and threw it into the toilet) only to have it come back to life and fly right into my face and literally attack me. Ok, I may be exaggerating but, Crane Flies have these freaky long limb thingies and I swear they were all over my face and it was scary stuff!

So, me and bugs don't mix and I can't have these Silverfish in my home and yet, I have done everything and they still seem to be around. I'm at a loss at this point. I called the exterminators again and they said that it really was not a big deal and did not require spraying but, I can't stop thinking about it!

WTF is a a neurotic, bug phobic girl to do???